Latrice Hilton

I Am

Have you ever seen a person go through a debilitating illness and never complain about it, give no ovation or award to the illness, never speak bitterly to God about it, but remain steadfast and positive, walking with grace and peace, and if you were not aware of it, looked as though they were completely, okay? I did. I remember seeing and saying, “Lord, if I had to go through something like that, I want to go through it with that kind of grace, calm, and assurance.”

Then during a Sunday service in 2009, the Holy Spirit fed me with a song. He titled it “I AM.” He spoke of who He is and beckoned me to step on Him. Later during a routine physical, I told my doctor I had taken a hard fall down the steps several months back and discovered a knot below my collar bone that was not there before my fall and wanted it checked out. She did and said she felt nothing. However, scheduled an x-ray at my insistence. Something was seen, then a scan, then a biopsy. She did not believe it. Once every test was concluded and it was determined there was cancer, the doctor appeared to be waiting for me to respond in the manner I assume many do, but all I could hear was “God is greater than cancer. This was not the end!” She asked if I heard, and I responded I did and I am okay. I experienced that peace and assurance. I knew my outcome would be good because God said so before anything began.

Through it all, God actually carried me through it with the grace I asked for and not once allowed me to become discouraged. He had already assured me beforehand that He was the “Great I Am” who made all things possible.”

In addition, He placed other victorious and positive angels in my pathway, such as my family, Myra Allen and Jonathan Pait, along with my close friends who cheered with me. Yes, I lost hair, but there were wigs. My nails got black, but there were Press-Ons. I went to work each day following the chemo and radiation treatments. No throwing up, nausea, tiredness or pain. He even enabled me to give the blood and treatments without all of the needles that I hate and despise. He always provided me with an internal song of worship and praise for which I am most thankful and grateful for.

My biggest take-away was God hears even before we speak. He knows our ending before our beginning. He wants to “be” everything in us, to us, and through us. Not only is He our father, but our friend and so much more. He was waiting to commune and talk to me through it all, and He silenced the noise. How great and excellent is my God!